Friday, April 15, 2011

Starbucks Protein Artisan Snack Plate

Starbucks, you d-bag! We already covered why an egg is not artisan. Rule three - it came out of a chicken's ass.

Rule four shall be thus: If a plant made it, it is not artisan. So, we've covered the apple and grapes, too.

The white cheddar could be artisan. But I'll wager you it is not. I'll bet it was made in a big factory with homogenized milk from many sources combined and treated to be sure each batch yields an identical end product. With no rind.

Not artisan.

So what does that leave? Bread and "peanut butter honey spread". Oh, and the fact that it is freaking Starbucks. Which has a zillion locations, many within peanut-buttery-anaphalactic-shock range of a Bed Bath and Beyond.

Also, what the hell is artisan even modifying in this product name? Protein? Snacks? The plate? Ah, maybe that's it -- maybe it's served on hand-thrown pottery. If so, well played, Starbucks.

No comments:

Post a Comment