Thursday, April 14, 2011
Unless you took sodium ions and chloride ions and used some serious juju and/or alchemy to fuse them into a crystalline structure, your salt is not artisan.
The artisan salt company has a lot of products. At first, this was my favorite: "Sel De Mer (Coarse Grain) is simply solar evaporated Mediterranean Sea water." (Ahem, meaning the artisan here is the sun, thank you very much.)
But then I found this one: "Kala Namak is an essential ingredient in authentic Indian cuisine. The distinctive smell and flavor of egg yokes makes this salt unforgettable."
Bwa ha ha! Egg yokes. I hate to be a jerk (OK, not really, I love it) but if you don't know it's "yolks", you should probably not even be in the food business. ...and you are definitely not an artisan. And as a personal note, I do not want salt that smells like farts. Because I assume that is what they mean. That it reeks of sulfur.
I am going to invent my own artisan salt: The Rock is hand-harvested from the sweaty groin region of professional wrestlers. It imparts a certain je nais sais quoi to artisan corn chips.