More artisan lettuce! But this one will help you get in shape, as compared to the cholesterol-laden, fat-saturated, refined mess that is Fresh Express. That's right... Diet artisan lettuce!
From their website: "Fully mature, yet petite in size, our Artisan Lettuce is a fresher alternative to spring mix and other bagged salads."
Wow. I naively thought freshness was measured in time. Turns out it is a measure of size! Which makes sense. A newborn baby is very small and is significantly fresher than my fully grown ass. Really-- don't get caught up in chronology -- it is the size. Because dwarfs? It's a scientific fact that dwarfs stay fresh way past middle age.
They go on to say that each head is "packed in the field and never processed". By processed, do they mean washed? Because that is not exactly a downside for me. I don't really mind if my packaged lettuce gets a good cleaning by a trained agricultural artisan.
...Bonus points if it's a dwarf.