Thursday, April 21, 2011

Fresh Express Artisanal Salad

From Fresh Express: The people who decided that you were too lazy or stupid to cut up iceberg lettuce are now hoping you don't know that "rocket" is just what the British call arugula. No, they hope you think it's some kind of artisan arugula - as if you and I didn't already coin rule number four.

But wait, you say, they artisanally blended it with "Seasonal Pacific Greens"! Artisanal blending! They also say it was "grown in small crops" of "select varieties"!

Freakin' asshats. All crops are select varieties. They don't magically appear. The farmer selects, them, plants them, cares for them and that's what grows. And farmers are heroes. Really, I believe that.

...but they are not artisans.

And neither are the people who wash and seal what the farmers have grown into bags made from "50% less plastic." Less than what???

Make no mistake, you pay a few cents more for every bit of superfluous bullshit copy on that bag.

1 comment:

  1. Bit late I know - but the British don't rename rocket arugula. We call it rocket.