Thursday, May 26, 2011
Artisan Vegan Sausages
Originally, this blog post was to be just one word, "no". But as you've probably noticed, I can't be that succinct, nor can my snark be so easily contained. I am spoiling to drop an f-bomb, and feel almost cosmically cheated that I already used my quota on artisan sprinkles.
Artisan VEGAN sausages.
I am tempted to add a rule: If it is vegan it is not artisan. Fart's sake, people...There is no long history of faking real food by manipulating "vital wheat gluten". Really, there's not. You may be a clever (but more likely evil) food scientist to isolate "vital wheat gluten", but you are not an artisan.
These not-sages come in three varieties. The Italian says it is "traditionally seasoned with fresh eggplant". I am not going to actually google this, but I feel pretty confident in stating as fact that traditional Italian sausage does not contain eggplant. It contains PORK. And is stuffed into PIG INTESTINES.
If you ask me, the only way to make artisan vegan sausages is to hand grind the vegan yourself.