Artisan Chocolate Grahams

Oh, how very appetizing these things look. No -- they are not feces covered credit cards, but you're close -- they are artisan chocolate covered graham crackers.

...I know! You have been dying for such a thing, but did not know any current-day artisans were making them!




...you thought only tree-bound elf slaves could do that.

From the title of this product, Artisan Chocolate Grahams, you might be inclined to think that under the waxy-shitstain of cocoa product, there may lie a hand-crafted CHOCOLATE graham cracker. Alas, no. It is just a normal graham cracker. One that they appear not to have even made themselves.

From their website: "Graham crackers evoke wonderful childhood memories for us. Covered in our rich milk chocolate or robust dark chocolate, they become a very sophisticated grown-up treat. We use a crisp flavorful graham cracker and make certain that it has a thick coat of chocolate. Gift-boxed and ready to be enjoyed!"

Did you catch that? "We use a crisp, flavorful graham cracker." If I were an indentured cookie making elf, I would be making a formal declaration of war right about now. But I am not. I am just a blogger, so I'll have to settle for calling them names. Have I used douche canoe yet??