You knew it was out there somewhere, didn't you? Artisan popcorn. Oh, excuse me, artisan kettle corn. (The kettle part is important, I gather. As we learned from the chicken stock, there is a longstanding artisan "kettle cooking tradition".)
First off, corn is a plant. And rule four says, if a plant made it, it ain't artisan.
I would stop there, but I can't. It simply must be mentioned that kettle corn is carnie food. If there is any tradition at all related to it, it involves inbred, grifter hillbillies. Are you an inbred, grifter hillbilly, Angie? ARE YOU?!
The kettle corn comes in three flavors, Classic, Caramel and Lite. The Caramel includes "natural flavor" in the ingredients. And Lite? "Lite" is not even a flavor. And it sure as shit is not a real word, applicable to artisan anything.
Angie, you may not be an inbred hillbilly, but you are, most definitely, a grifter. I suggest you put your coffee cans fulll of money into your Winnebago and skip town before the people catch on.