Sunday, August 7, 2011

Artisan Roasted Chicken Broth

Are they serious? I've already raged on the fact I don't believe in artisan soup, but this isn't even soup -- it's just BROTH. At least the other package had noodles and some little dessicated carrot bits. You look at this stuff, and the three anemic slivers of celery and bias-cut carrots are just a "serving suggestion".

While you're looking at the package, scan up a little to the proud declaration, "Raised without antibiotics." What, your broth? Lived its natural broth-life without antibiotics? It grew up in the tough alleys of the stock-yards without succumbing to drugs? (Get it? Broth..."stock" yards... ...oh, forget it this stuff is so bad it's making ME suck.)

Finally, let's move to the web copy, which states,"Made from hand-picked ingredients in the chefs’ tradition of kettle cooking, our Artisan Roasted Chicken Broth boasts three times the protein of other natural chicken broths and can promote good digestion, strong joints and respiratory health."

Get that? Whereas other broth's ingredients are oft picked by robots, these are picked by hand. In the "kettle cooking" tradition. Seriously. What the hell? And I can't even begin to fathom how that process yields a broth with three times the protein. But it doeasn't really matter, because I ain't buying it. Even if a halal chicken "coupled" with root vegetables in it, (Thanks, unintentionally imagery-laden web copy!) it just isn't artisan.

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