Monday, August 8, 2011

Artisan Organic Summer Fruit

As a farmer, it kinda hurts me to say this to another farmer, but duty calls: STFU you opportunistic asshat.

Artisan fruit.

Why can't they just be happy with organic as a modifier? That's pretty great. Seriously. It's great. But no, they HAD to go a step further, didn't they?

What makes their fruit artisan? Apparently the weather. Four seasons, cold winters, hot summers... Really? The weather makes you an artisan?

We are currently farming in the worst drought in Texas' recorded history. Excuse me if I I don't get on board with this particular piece of bullshit. In fact, were I inclined to say you could be an artisan farmer (which I most definitely am not) I think I would say that the farmers in Central Texas are the real artisans here, managing to coax food from the earth against all, very long and dispiriting odds. But I won't say that, instead I'll just say to the marketing folks at Stemilt, "I hate you and I hate your ass face."

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