Thursday, December 1, 2011

Campbell's Artisan Cream Base

Wait, what? ...I forgot some words in there. It is actually Campbell's Artisan by Stockpot Cream Base. Because, you know, those extra words clear everything up.

Bleargh. While the website says it's a soup base, to me it looks more like some kind of construction material. Like a giant, paste-filled lego.

From the web copy: "The perfect start for your signature cream soups and chowders begins with this lightly seasoned creamy broth." If it's YOUR signature soup, why are you starting with a cream lego from Campbell's? And why is the first ingredient in this "artisan soup base" water? It's soup - I can and will add my own damn water.

To their credit, there is actually cream in there. Right before "modified milk ingredients". ...And about 12 ingredients in front of "Disodium Inosinate and Disodium Guanylate".

Oh, and in case you are not as good an artisan as the fine folks at Campbell's, they actually have a recipe suggestion for your soon-to-be signature soup. I don't normally paste in a second photo, but in this case, I feel I must. Because the recipe actua
lly says it "tastes as good as it looks!"

Ahem. I bring you "Green Pea Pancetta Soup."

But wait! There's more! Ingredients in said soup? A cream lego, water, pancetta, onion and frozen peas.

You may vomit now.


  1. Ew. "Signature" is another word that's got to go!

  2. i cant imagine that anyone who would actually *buy* a soup base would even know what pancetta *is*...

    also, i always think that any jarred, boxed, shrink wrapped cream 'product' [such as jarred alfredo sauce] is really just gonna taste like baby vomit. and smell like rotten milk. and know what both of those<--- taste like. but not by choice...

  3. it looks like pistachio pudding. i do not like pistachio pudding. urk!

  4. It looks worse than just pistachio pudding. It looks like INSTANT pistachio pudding. Bleargh. Maybe I will make a cooking video showing how easy it is to blend flour and butter add milk and create "home made artisan soup base." Probably I won't. Somebody else should do that. You could call yourself The Artisan Cook.

  5. At least baby vomit is actually artisan. Made by hand in small batches.

  6. I am struggling not only with Wordpress (supposed to have the best SEO) but also with WTH to call myself! I design and make jewelry, elegant stuff with gemstones, precious metals, Swarovski crystals, you get the picture. I flat out refuse to call myself a crafter as that brings to mind yarn, plastic beads and glue guns, and I thought "artist" was pushing it, so I settled on artisan since there IS indeed a hard earned skill involved in what I do, and when you say artist, most people instantly think of paintings (still a mystery to me why) I found you looking for the definition of artisan for the blog. Now I'm finding yet another part of my life being ruined by corporate greed, AND the average English "speaking" persons lack of education! It's like when someone tells me something was "surreal" I say Really? Were the walls melting? Inanimate objects coming to life? And in return I get sour looks, like "you KNOW what I mean!" Actually no, I don't, I speak several dialects of English, but the failure to use proper syntax eludes me. This internet which was supposed to facilitate communication, has utterly destroyed the English language! We have in the near future a whole generation that will be unable to sign their own names because cursive script is no longer taught in schools! But, back to my original comment. Since the word "artisan" has been taken and pretty much used to pimp anything and everything on every corner in the world... WTH am I to call myself? Wearable Art is being used to death but I find that this is really (although probably very temporary) my only choice. I am in the middle of typing This is Beautiful elegant artisan created jewelry, and now I'm stumped. Thank you for being a voice of reason, I may need to go change my Facebook page or at least add the actual definition of Artisan.