Artisan Organic Germinated Rice Flakes

Oh, man - do I ever love the packaging on this. Really. No snark. That is sweet. But I think I can get past that to go for the jugular: Artisan Germinated Rice Flakes?

Germinating does not take an artisan. In fact, I have an old bag of potatoes germinating in my pantry right now. Of their own volition. I probably have garlic and onions germinating, too. I noticed that the country of origin on these is Thailand. They probably have the same issue I do in humid Houston, TX...Shit just starts germinating before you get a chance to eat it. That does not make us all artisans.

An what, exactly, is the point of germinating rice? From the website: "Germinated rice contains greater amount of a naturally occurring amino acid, known as Gamma Amino Butyric Acid (GABA) which helps to promote mind relaxation, ease nerve tension and stabilize blood sugar that makes it beneficial for diabetic."

Obviously the woo only works if you eat it, because right now this non-artisanal sprouted rice is promoting mind strain and jacking up my nerve tension.

So anyway, the ingredients here are: germinated brown rice, germinated red rice, germinated Hom Nin rice. Classic rule four violation. Verdict: ไม่ช่างฝีมือ (Not artisan)

(The Thai is a nice touch, no?)