Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Nature's Artisan Ornamental Shrimp Food Crumble

At first glance, this appears to be the nourishment of some kind of secret society. There is absolutely no indication as to what the hell it is or who/what is supposed to eat it.

Is it made of shrimp? ....Shrimp food crumble. It could be made of crumbled shrimp. But, ornamental? Does that mean you aren't supposed to really eat it? Like ornamental peppers? Classic artisan modifier/noun confusion - the word soup these products are often known for.

So I dug deeper. And it appears this is food to feed to your ornamental shrimp. ...Of course.

I really should just leave this alone. I can't say anything that would make this more amazing.

...except for the product description.

" Nature Shrimp Foods are specially formulated to provide your Shrimp with essential elements to boost their immune systems while providing a tasty, preservative free, well-balanced diet. All of Nature's formulas are non-clouding and will fit right into your normal feeding regime. You will not believe what fantastic color your shrimp will have! Only top quality ingredients are used. Crucial ingredients are de-hydrated to keep all the vitamins and nutrients in tact. Then, they are hand ground, blended, and precision mixed. Nature foods are slow oven baked at 190 degrees to retain the integrity of all the vitamins and minerals. Above 200 degrees the vitamins and trace elements would be lost. "

Jesus. Imagine if people put that much thought into what they put in their own bodies. This may not be artisan, but I award 1000 crazy points and a fair bit of respect for that kind of passion. Well done, Ornamental Shrimp Food Crumble Guys, well done.

1 comment:

  1. It could just be me, but...the animal on the package looks like it just dropped a deuce, or 3.