Artisan Fucking Sprinkles

While I love to use salty language, I think it's important to reserve the f-bomb for truly egregious situations, otherwise it just loses its impact. So let me repeat: Artisan Fucking Sprinkles.

I also decided, when I started this project, that I would try to reserve my ire for large corporate interests. This breaks that rule. This is clearly a small company. But artisan sprinkles? I cannot give them a pass.

When you go to the site, this product is alternately referred to as sprinkles and sugar mix. Artisan fucking sugar mix. And what goes into an artisan sugar/sprinkle mix? Well, let's take the raspberry: Organic cane sugar and natural raspberry sprinkle mix.

Okaaaaayyyy... can we break that down further? Why, yes! Yes we can. Ingredients: Organic cane sugar, dried raspberries.

Seriously. I think I am having an aneurysm. a) They have called sugar artisan. b) They have called sprinkles artisan. c) They have called a dried raspberry a GD sprinkle and d) Both those things are made by plants. D is for d-bag!

I need to let this go now. I have blown my reserve of f-bombs and thus have been rendered speechless.