Artisan nut mix. As the wholesaler implores, "Break traditional boundaries with bold and unexpected flavor snack nut combinations."
Flavor snack nut combinations.
Bygones. Atrocious copy-writing seems to be the norm.
So what goes into an artisan snack nut combination like "PB&J Mix"? "PB&J Mix lets snackers enjoy peanut butter and jelly-flavored peanuts mixed with cherry-flavored cranberries and peanut butter drops!"
Ah, "jelly flavored peanuts". I remember those from my African great grandmother's stories of childhood. Only in Ghana -then called the Gold Coast -where she came from, they were called jelly flavored groundnuts. But the tradition hasn't changed!
Next up: cherry-flavored cranberries. WTF is wrong with cranberry flavored cranberries? And how do you make artisan cherry-flavored cranberries? Glad you asked. It's sugar, cranberries, citric acid, natural cherry flavor, natural flavors, elderberry juice concentrate and sunflower oil.
The final component is "peanut butter drops", made in the laborious artisan fashion by hand-defatting peanuts (only partially!) and mixing with other quality ingredients. (partially defatted peanuts, sugar, blend of vegetable oils [contains partially hydrogenated palm kernel and soybean oils], nonfat milk, dextrose, salt, soya lecithin [an emulsifier], vanillin [artificial flavoring])
Taste the art, my friends. Taste the art.
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